Eggs is Eggs
by binx-349
Summary: “You ever dream about rolling Kirk down a hill? Because that is now a reality for me. You should try it sometime. It’s great for stress relief.” LukeLorelai, RoryJess
1. Chapter 1

Title: Eggs is Eggs 

Rating: PG

Summary: "You ever dream about rolling Kirk down a hill? Because that is now a reality for me. You should try it sometime. It's great for stress relief."

A/N: Gilmore Girls fanfic is a first for me, so give me honest concrit people, I need it. If it sucks, remind me not to do this again. it's un-beta'ed because I'm a big dork and didn't ask anyone.

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It really does show just how long you've been living in Stars Hollow when you can recognise an Easter egg shaped Kirk at 50 paces. Seeing his bare legs is something of a rite of passage in the town. He was pacing as frantically as possible considering what he was wearing, up and down the high street and forcing flyers onto any poor soul who came within waddling distance.

"Non-denominational Spring egg rolling competition entry forms! Get your entry forms here." Kirk marched comically towards Lorelai lurching to a halt and thrusting a canary yellow flyer at her.

"Non-denominational?" Lorelai gave him a puzzled look and took the pamphlet that had been extended in her direction. Various eggs and misshapen chicks adorned the top surrounding a title proudly proclaiming the event.

"Taylor says that we shouldn't alienate other cultures by calling it," with a furtive look he leaned closer to Lorelai and lowered his voice to a whisper, "'Easter' egg rolling." He straightened up once more. "There's also the usual Spring egg hunt, stalls and a prize for the best decorated egg. Entry form?"

She waved the one she was holding, saying "got it", and watching with amusement as he turned to apprehend another poor soul. She then folded it in half and tucked it into her bag as she entered Luke's. That would be a task for later. Right now, was 'Acting 101'.

She plastered a smile to her face as she made her way into the diner, she could at least play the part of the exultant bride-to-be. The fact she was realising more and more each day that this engagement, for all his promises, didn't seem to be going anywhere, would be something she would be keeping entirely to herself, for a while at least.

There was something wrong, she knew that much, something different. There was April, obviously; that and Luke's sudden wish to lock her out of major parts of his life. She was pretty sure the two weren't mutually exclusive. She was also pretty sure that he wasn't hurting her on purpose, but his inability to see that his exclusion upset her was possibly the worst feeling of all.

"Let's see all that good coffee you've been hiding burger-boy." Lorelai hopped onto a stool and leaned on her elbows on the counter.

"I'm out." He deadpanned, barely looking at her and continuing to re-arrange things under the counter. Lorelai's jaw dropped in mock shock, and she leaned over trying to get a better view.

"Liar," she rolled her eyes leaning further over, "I know you. I know when you lie, like now. That's your 'I'm telling a big fat lie' face." Luke scowled, "and that is your 'shucks I'm busted' face." She slumped onto the surface under her. "C'mon, caffeine me up, you know you can't resist me."

He pulled a tin from a nearby cupboard holding it about a foot away from her. "Only if you stop lying on my counter," Lorelai gasped, "take it or leave it," he added.

"Ugh, bribery and corruption in the workplace," she slumped back in her seat.

"You don't work here." Luke protested, as he set about brewing her caffeine fix.

"Yeah, but you do," she grinned gesturing at him and grinning. "I say that counts."

"I don't." He responded as he turned back to the kitchen. "Employees get paid, I don't pay you."

"Nope, I do it all for free," she drew out the syllables in 'all' out for several seconds. Luke rolled his eyes and continued with what he was doing.

Lane deposited a couple of plates on the counter as she breezed past, "morning Lorelai." She was grinning from ear to ear, apparently still on cloud nine. Her now rapidly upcoming wedding was talk of the town, and to Lorelai it seemed far more imminent than her own. She smiled and returned a cheerful greeting anyway as Luke slid a large blue mug across the counter towards her.

"Thaaank you," she smiled wrapping her hands around the steaming beverage. "You don't know how long I've been waiting for you," she said down to the coffee. The woman sitting beside her gave a fleeting look and moved further away.

"You realise that every time you start talking to your coffee, you scare away more of my customers?"

"Yes," she paused, "but the look on their faces is so fun! And if they're that easily put off, they obviously aren't local and the vision of Kirk's dancing in the street should've done the trick anyway. Oh, hey do you have any eggs?"

"Eggs." Luke parroted looking disbelieving, "this is a diner. Of course I have eggs. What in the hell do you want eggs for?" Lorelai just grinned and jerked a thumb over her shoulder towards the window. "You're going to egg Kirk," he stated, expression unchanging.

"No," she sighed in despair. "Don't be obtuse. I'm entering the egg rolling. Rory's back from Yale for the weekend, she'll love the distraction. Plus, I get to bust out paint and glitter and feathers. You can't tell me that isn't fun."

"If you put glitter and feathers on it it's not gonna roll properly anyway." He pointed out, attempting to be the voice of reason, like that had ever worked before.

"Spoilsport." She drained the last of her coffee, slipped her jacket back on, and flicked her cell phone open.

"Fiancée status does not make you exempt from the rule." Luke said, tipping his head in the direction of the 'No Cell Phones' sign.

"Yeah, yeah, I got that. I'm off anyway," while she leaned across the counter to Luke for a brief kiss, then pulled out the entry form and started dialling on her cell, pressing it to her ear as she walked out the door.

"--yep," it sounded very much like Rory was only semi-awake. It was still only 8am so that wasn't entirely surprising.

"Hey, new town tradition, you want to give it a shot with me? It's Stars Hollow's First annual egg rolling." She scanned the street briefly for non-existent traffic before crossing the road and making her way to her car.

Rory dodged another student, only just managing to keep her coffee within the confines of the cup. "They made a tradition out of rolling eggs?"

"Yeah, this Saturday on Peach Street, apparently it's sloped enough to make the ideal rolling surface." Lorelai made a waving motion with the hand holding the flyer, despite the fact no-one would be able to see it. "There's a long explanation of the physics of the thing on the back of the entry form," She began to read, "apparently an 18 degree angle provides the best combination of speed and… something else I don't really understand but sounds very professional."

"Oh," Rory stifled a yawn and dropped down onto a bench. "What exactly does this entail?"

Lorelai shrugged fishing out her car keys, "just what it says on the tin. Wait, what time will you be getting home on Friday?"

"Mid-afternoon, hopefully, it really depends on Paris and whether I can avoid her sudden interest in getting me into self-defence. I'm not cut out for having her tackle me in the flat, a) its creepy and b) one of these days, I'm going to lose an eye on the corner of the coffee table." Rory took a sip of her coffee before continuing, "She nearly knocked me out with a copy of Grey's Anatomy yesterday. I can't even sleep without fear of being ambushed."

Lorelai gave a sympathetic nod, "Aww, well you knew moving in with Paris would be a health hazard. That's no secret." She paused, "but, you know what would make a great antidote?"

"No, but I'm assuming you have an idea to share."

"Egg decorating," she propped her phone between her ear and her shoulder as she unlocked her car.

"You never mentioned decorating, you said tin. There wasn't decoration on the tin." Rory switched her cell from one ear to the other as she spoke.

"It was in really small print." She slid herself into the car, depositing her bag on the passenger seat and keys in the ignition.

Lorelai smirked in triumph at Rory's sigh, "okay, fine. I do have to get some studying done too though."

"Great. I'll see you on Friday," she grinned, "I'm going to work on Luke later. I want to see what a man-egg looks like."

Rory seemed distracted by something, "uh-huh, well good luck with that. I'll see you Friday." She muttered a brief, "bye," and hung up.

It seemed oddly surreal. Some things just seem to manage to remain entirely untouched by time, the leather jacket, the book in the back pocket, him in general. He was watching her in a way that suggested he had been for some time, leaning casually against a tree. For that brief moment, it seemed that everything was just the same as it always had been, everything.

He straightened up after a couple of seconds. "You really think you can just walk into my life then straight back out again with barely a word? It just doesn't work that way Rory."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks for all your responses. :) It's confusing, I know. I'm hoping to clear that up.

Once the initial shock had passed and after several moments of mutual staring, Rory sighed heavily got up from the bench, turned and walked steadily away in the opposite direction. She thought she had made herself entirely clear the last time they had talked. She was glad she had put her feelings out there, but she had also made it very clear that she had no intention of going back. She had her life, he had his, and that had worked perfectly well for her for the last few years. She'd moved on. The fact that she'd admitted to loving him in the past, absolutely did not mean she still felt that way, nor that she wanted anything other than to get the confession off her chest. Rory kept repeating this to herself over, and over in her head, that meant it had to be true.

She stopped, turned, yelled "you did it to me," accusingly, and carried right on walking. She mentally cursed her slow responses. Why couldn't she have said that when he'd just asked the question? Rather than five minutes later making herself sound like an idiot.

When it became obvious that she had absolutely no intention of stopping, Jess marched off after her. "Rory, will you at least talk to me?"

She ignored him completely and continued walking, the fact that she wasn't really sure where she intended to go had crossed her mind, but she figured something would jump out at her eventually. If nothing else, she could call Paris and tell her a threatening looking man was following her. She was pretty sure Paris wouldn't remember Jess, and she was quite possibly threatening enough that she'd scare him away.

"Rory!" She glanced over her shoulder at him momentarily. He still had the same irrepressible swagger, all the same traits that had undeniably attracted her to him before. It had been less than a month since she had seen him last and even then she was struck by just how little he had changed.

Jess jogged to catch up with her. She was surprisingly speedy considering her hatred of most forms of exercise. "Ignoring me isn't going to make me go away," he was by her side by this point, matching her speed pace for pace.

"Yeah, well… doesn't mean I'm not going to try," Rory muttered. Calling Paris was only a last resort, after all.

Rory subtly took sideways glances into car wing mirrors and any reflective windows as she walked. She turned back to him again as they reached the courtyard, "you do realise that what you're doing constitutes as stalking in all fifty states?"

"I'm not stalking, I'm visiting." He shrugged, cocking his head to the side as he looked at her "nice campus. Hasn't changed a bit."

Rory huffed in frustration. "When the visitor is uninvited and refuses to leave, it's called stalking." She reached the coffee stand, ordered a small mocha from the bewildered-looking server, and pointedly ignored her new Jess-shadow.

"You change your mind," He leaned in close over her shoulder, slipping a piece of paper into the back pocket of her jeans. "I'll be around."

Lorelai jogged up the steps of the inn, post in hand, rifling through to see if there was anything of interest. That was, anything that didn't seem Bill-shaped, her mind went off on a brief tangent over whether Peter or Shane-shaped envelopes would be any more interesting, but dragged herself back quickly when she opened the door.

She blinked, shook her head, and blinked some more.

"Michel?" She eyed up the figure that was semi-prostate across the inn's hall floor, semi, because he seemed to be trying to avoid having his suit touch the floor, while getting his ear as near to the ground as he could. It simply ended up looking like he was sticking his butt in the air on purpose. Yoga without the any of the grace normally associated with the activity.

When he didn't respond she took another step over the threshold, "Michel?"

"Yis."

"Uh, if it's not a silly question," she made her way a little closer bending down to be nearer his level. She lowered her voice slightly, in that way you do when you think you might be talking to a crazy-person and don't want to hurt their feelings, just in case they decide to turn their attention to you. "What are you doing Michel?"

"Leesening to the floor." He responded, as if this should answer any and all queries.

She nodded slowly in apparent understanding. "Does it have psychological issues? Abandoned by uncaring parents, always the last picked in high school sports? I bet it's been just waiting for you to be there to introduce it to the concept of Freud." Lorelai was having a problem suppressing her grin by this point.

Michel did not look impressed. "No. Do not be stupeed. It was making noizes."

"Did it maybe, creak? Because unfortunately that's just a floor thing we can't counsel it for th-", she stopped abruptly. "Oh, my god, what was that?" She dropped to her hands and knees, placing her ear to the floor.

"I tink we 'ave rodents," Michel shuddered a little at the very thought, "deesgusting creatures. Eating everyteeng in sight, and leaving leetle droppings left, reight and center." He pulled a horrified face at the very idea. Mice apparently did not make for a happy germ-phobic Frenchman. She hadn't expected that he would, but she also hadn't seen the neuroses firsthand before.

Lorelai groaned, "this is just what I do not need right now."

Michel looked up at Lorelai grumpily. "I do not want zis either. I tink Sookie should not be allowed her food. It attracts pests."

"Michel, we need Sookie, and her food, to actually run this place. Different strategy, please." She moved her ear a little to the left, as close to the ground as she could realistically manage.

"I weel call someone later to come look," He responded glibly.

"Good answer," Lorelai shifted in an attempt to make her posture more bearably comfortable and still be able to hear the noise.

A couple of guests chose that moment to walk around the corner from the dining room, jaws falling a little slack at the sight of the two people apparently choosing to practise 'Twister' without the mat, in the middle of the lobby floor that morning.

Lorelai jumped up looking somewhat awkward, "just checking the polish." She grinned at the small group. "I hope you had a wonderful breakfast, enjoy the rest of your stay at the Dragonfly!"

She smiled as they made their way back up the stairs. The grin soon fell, replaced with a perturbed look as she turned to walk to the front desk, leaving Michel to track the movement of whatever was living under their floorboards. The appearance of visitors didn't seem to have fazed him in the slightest. There was something about the French man and germy things. The possibility of their presence in close proximity to him made Michel far more inclined to do ridiculous things, things that may even involve getting a smudge of dust on his jacket. Perish the thought.

She ran a finger over the calendar scanning it briefly, she was sure there was something she was missing. She shrugged it off and made a note on a post-it to call someone about checking under the floors. She certainly wasn't intending to do the searching herself. It was dirty and creepy down there at the best of times, having an infestation of something alive beneath their feet made it increasingly less attractive.

"Hey, there was a chicken delivery this morning, right? It was supposed to arrive this morning. I wanted to serve it for lunch. I really need it to be here." Sookie peered over Lorelai's shoulder at the diary. "Is it down there?"

"Sookie, morning!" Lorelai purposely ignored her friends frantic flailing, and continued to scan her eyes over the computer screen.

"Morning, order?" She persisted.

"I don't see it here, sorry Honey." Lorelai paused, "are we missing something. I feel like we're missing something." She moved on from the computer to the diary sitting on the desk.

"Yeah, chicken! That's what we're missing," Sookie chose that moment to catch sight of Michel's public display of flexibility, "and sanity. We're lacking in sanity."

Still distracted, Lorelai looked at her panicked friend, "Right, right," and with that she pushed the diary away across the desk, in an attempt to stop herself from obsessing. "I'll get someone to do a run over to Doose's and pick up chicken, okay?"

Sookie nodded, "just make sure they get the best Taylor has… and they have to transport it in a cool bag. It gets to over 7 degrees, it's useless." She started to turn away, "and, have them get it free range, drug free, and none of those weird bastings on it," she added.

"Sure," Lorelai replied distractedly, tipping her head to the side as if a change in position would help take out her mental block.

"—and, not frozen, either," Sookie added. "Do you want to write that all down, make sure whoever you send will get it right?"

Lorelai finally dragged her head fully out of the clouds. "I'll go get it, Sookie. My brain is very sponge-like, I promise…" She then continued to elaborate, "except not in that sponges-are-fish capacity. I can normally think for longer than three seconds. In the sponge-sponge kinda way, I soak up information."

"I got that." Sookie sighed, apparently relieved, "that would be great, thanks." She smiled broadly, patting Lorelai's shoulder before making her way back to the kitchen.

Lorelai stood still, watching her leave for a moment. She gave a final fleeting look at the diary, pulled her keys from her purse again and headed off on a chicken search. She was sure she'd remember whatever it was soon enough.

"I am not making man-eggs for you!" By this stage, Luke could pretty much pin-point the exact phrase that would act as a response. He knew it almost from the moment the words came out of his mouth.

"Dirty," Lorelai grinned, leaning back against his chest.

Yep, there it was. He bit back a smile, "still not doing it." Luke shifted on the couch arms tightening around her body.

She gasped, turning her head up towards him, "not even for me?"

"Much as I love you, no. What is this?" He asked jerking his head at the TV. His attempt at a distraction technique failed miserably. He hadn't really expected it to work, but anything was worth a try. Egg decorating for a town event, was quite possibly his idea of hell.

"What if I bat my eyelashes real nice?" She ran a hand down his thigh, with a seductive smile.

"Nope," he grunted. "Are you ever going to drop this?"

Lorelai rolled over, draping an arm across his chest. "You can even put them in a baseball cap and flannel shirts if you want?"

"That doesn't attract me to the idea any more than the glitter and feathers did. When's Rory getting back?"

Lorelai sighed, dropping her head back down onto his shoulder and appearing to give up. "She said, this afternoon. I'm beginning to think she was lying, because it's now coming up to 5pm, and she is somewhere that isn't here." She wasn't to know that Rory was currently camped out in her apartment, with Jess sat in his car across the street. "I'll call her if she isn't here in an hour, make sure she--"

The brash rings of the phone cut off her words. Lorelai groaned, burying her face into Luke's chest. "Do I have to get that," she mumbled.

Luke grunted, "I can get it, but either way, you're gonna have to move."

"Right, ungh," she pushed herself up and padded over to the phone cradle, "You better be thinking about your rolling technique!" she called over her shoulder, picking it up and balancing it between her shoulder and her ear as she collected up a couple of mugs from the side table.

Rory had decided not to mention Jess' presence before, hoping that she would be able to figure out something else before telling anyone became an issue. Unfortunately, he wasn't as flaky as she had been banking on.

He'd turned up just before she was about to leave for Stars Hollow, and hadn't left yet. She wasn't exactly sure what he was doing, but she knew that if she went out there now, he'd want to talk again. She might have also been using the opportunity to keep an eye on him. It wasn't exactly the nicest area, and while she was sure Jess was perfectly capable of looking after himself, she still peeked out the window every ten minutes or so. Just in case. Not that she cared, of course.

It came round to four-thirty and Rory gave up. She'd been sat here for two hours with a packed bag listening to Paris rant on about someone in one of her lectures who had been holding the entire class up by asking so many questions. The girl really was in need of a good anger management class. Mentioning this to Paris would probably result in getting herself kicked out of the apartment, again. So she kept the thought firmly in her head.

She quickly dialled the home number pressing her cell phone to her ear, it rang several times before finally being answered, "hey, Mom."

Lorelai perked up immediately, placing the mugs on the side by the sink and heading back into the sitting room. "Rory, hey. I was about to call, find out why you stood me up."

"It wasn't a standing up, so much as a postponement," Rory peered out of the window. "I have a visitor."

"Anyone I know?" Lorelai questioned, leaning against the staircase as she spoke.

"Uh, yeah, Jess." Rory bit her lip, waiting for the response. She walked away from the window and sat down on the sofa.

Lorelai's mouth fell open, "Jess, Jess?" Luke looked up suddenly from the magazine he had been scanning at her words.

Rory frowned at the stupidity of the question, waving a hand at the window in frustration. "Yes, Jess, Jess. How many Jess's do I know?"

"I don't know." Lorelai was all but pouting, "you could be holding out on me." There was a long pause, "sooo?" she prompted, pushing herself away from the banister with her free hand.

"Can I meet you at Friday night dinner instead?" Rory asked. Obviously she wasn't quite up for debating the subject of Jess and his motivations quite yet. She was still trying to come up with of a way to get out of the apartment without him realising, so she didn't have to deal with talking to him. Right now, she was all for avoidance of her issues.

Lorelai pulled a face, not particularly impressed about being so out of the loop. "Will I get more explanation later?"

"Uh, sure," Rory started making her way over to the window again, before mentally stopping herself and walking back to the couch.

"Okay then. I'll see you in a few hours." Lorelai put down the phone with a sigh. That had been one of the oddest conversations they'd had in a long while. She shook her head, suddenly noticing the calendar on the table by the phone cradle, she took a closer look. It was only then she realised what it was she was missing.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: All ye who respond, ROCK. No kidding, I love you all. :)

I don't however love the formatting on this site. It takes out all my scene breaks. Meh.

Part III:

It had been eight minutes at the very least and she was working on getting it to fifteen. Standing on the doorstep of her parents' house for serious lengths of time really should be counted as an Olympic sport. Lorelai had it pretty much down to an art by now, so much so that she was considering taking out copyright. Getting paid every time someone does the patented Lorelai-parent-avoidance-routine? Sounds like a good deal.

She was up to a good ten minutes of watching the rain fall outside the porch before she gave in, realising that Rory was not going to arrive in the near future and if she didn't want to freeze to death she was just going to have to knock, whether she liked it or not.

The door was opened just moments later by a stiff looking maid. She'd come to the conclusion that it was difficult not to look like someone had shoved a large branch somewhere uncomfortable when working for the Gilmore's. Either that or it was a trait trained into every maid before they graduated hospitality school. She wasn't really sure at this point.

Lorelai scanned the hall, and seeing no sign of either of her parents, made her way into the drawing room.

Emily was sitting in a chair a glass of wine dangling effortlessly from her hand. She motioned at the trolley in the corner of the room, making the obligatory beverage offer, "drink?"

Nodding briefly Lorelai ordered a vodka martini with a distracted sigh, and plonked herself unceremoniously onto one end of the ornate-looking couch.

Emily sat herself on the seat opposite, giving her daughter a well honed upraising look and taking a sip of her drink. There were several long moments where absolutely nothing was said. Lorelai was quite contented with that arrangement for once. If nothing was said until Rory arrived she would be a happy camper. Her luck obviously wasn't playing nice tonight.

Emily dragged her eyes critically over Lorelai, who shifted uncomfortably and crossed and re-crossed her legs a couple of times. "You look very healthy today," she stated.

"Uh, thanks. Good to know, Mom," Lorelai muttered guardedly, looking a little bewildered.

"Did you start a fitness routine?" The question threw Lorelai off a little. Emily Gilmore was not known to play a motherly role often, and questions like this, about her health or her fitness, normally had ulterior motives.

"No," she answered abruptly, folding her arms around her body as if in defence.

There was a long pause, but Emily was not one to give up easily when she had a subject she liked and could see was making Lorelai squirm. "Eating more salads?"

"No, Mom. It's probably just the springtime sun," she gave a quick fake smile and peered into her martini glass. She had a sudden realisation, and put it down far away from temptation on the coffee table in front of her.

Emily all but rolled her eyes at the remark. "Don't be ridiculous. It's been solid rain for the last week."

Lorelai responded quickly, "Not where I've been." She smoothed out imagined wrinkles from her dress as she spoke.

"Stars Hollow is hardly Hawaii, Lorelai." She fixed her daughter with a derisive look.

"Freak weather, what can I say." The endless questions were beginning to get to her. This is why she liked arriving late to Friday night dinners. It gave Rory a chance to arrive before she resorted to strangling her own mother. Lorelai gave her martini a lingering look, and pushed it several inches further away from her on the table.

Emily gave her a withering stare, deciding to give up on that line of enquiry, there was a long moment of silence, during which she delicately took a sip from her drink and checked her watch. She then looked back up at Lorelai, frowning.

"Are you intending to drink that or just out stare it?" Emily questioned. She took a sip of her wine, looking at Lorelai the whole time. It was a unique talent to be able to drink and keep eye contact at the same time. It was also somewhat unnerving.

"It just doesn't have that blinking thing down. I lose every time," Lorelai retorted, causing Emily's frown to deepen. "I'll drink it, in a minute."

"You can't order a drink and then not touch it, its bad manners." Emily's frustration at the way the evening was going was beginning to show in her words.

"Where's Dad?" she queried, hoping against all reason that it would distract her.

"Out of town," Emily answered, staring pointedly at the glass on the table.

Lorelai frowned, "I'll drink it later, Mom." Ordinarily she didn't like being tag teamed by both parents when she was alone, but right now it would have been nice to have a buffer in the form of her father at the very least.

"The maid might have accidentally cleared it later." The doorbell chimed at that moment, and Lorelai thought fleetingly of Saved by the Bell, and just how appropriate that phrase was right at this moment. Emily stood, placing her drink on the side table. "That must be Rory!" she exclaimed, and walked away to the front door to meet her.

"Oh, thank God," Lorelai muttered, checking her mother was occupied and looking the other way and tipping her drink subtly into the nearest vase, which happened to be full to the brim of scented lilies. She had unfortunately chosen a transparent glass jug, and the water now had a distinctly murky hue. She put her empty glass down on the table, and walked speedily to greet Rory, plastering an innocent look on her face. She hoped like hell that her mother didn't notice and that she hadn't just killed off the only life in the whole stuffy house.

"Hi Grandma," Rory was in the middle of a polite grandparently hug when Lorelai got to the hall. She glanced over her shoulder to the room she had just left, where the maid was removing the vase along with Rory's coat, presumably to change the water. Working for the Gilmore's obviously also heightens the senses as a side effect. She decided that was a far more useful skill than the 'misplaced stick' expression.

"Let's see if you can't be better company than your mother." Lorelai looked rather affronted, and Emily simply added, "Well it's true. The phrase wet blanket was coined with you in mind tonight."

Rory smiled politely, not really knowing how to proceed. Emily stopped her from having to make the choice, "your Grandfather is in Chicago for the week. I don't know why he insists on having the most inappropriate timing." She wandered off towards the dining room as she spoke.

Lorelai grabbed Rory's elbow as the walked through to dinner, "where have you been?" she hissed. Rory just widened her eyes meaningfully at her, and Lorelai huffed. "You were supposed to protect me. I'm never giving you the position as my bodyguard when I'm famous."

The dinner table conversation wasn't a huge amount more successful. As far as action packed evenings at the Gilmore house went, this was not high up on the rankings.

"So, Rory how is Yale?" Emily paused in the middle of her salad, asking their typical fallback question in desperation.

"It's good Grandma," Rory smiled dutifully, but didn't elaborate.

"Anything exciting going on?" she asked hopefully, trying to inject some life into the room.

"Nope, it's been really quiet," Rory continued to chew on some fish. There was no way she was mentioning the appearance of Jess, oddly enough that was the main happening of her week.

"—and you. Everything's going well with the inn?"

Lorelai looked up from her food momentarily to answer, "yeah, its fine Mom. It's still there."

Emily looked between the two of them. "I give up. Honestly, I don't know what's got into you two tonight." She gestured at Lorelai who was prodding her seafood experimentally. "I tell you, you look nice and you snub me—"

Lorelai cut her off, "actually, you said I looked healthy… which can be construed as 'you look fat'."

"Oh, good Lord Lorelai," Emily put her fork down on the table rather harder than was necessary. "You're not fat, you're just glowing, and you knew exactly what I meant." Lorelai looked a little perturbed. The description did nothing to improve her mood.

"It's supposed to be a complement." She continued, directing her attention at Rory, "and you're not much better tonight."

"Hey!" Rory objected.

Emily didn't stop, apparently not hearing Rory's exclamation. She was on a tirade and might as well maintain it. "Have you two completely misplaced your verbal skills tonight? It's like getting conversation out of rocks." Her eyes darted back and forth between the two in frustration.

"Sorry," Rory shrugged apologetically, while Lorelai just stared at her plate, stabbing a tomato vindictively. "I have a paper due on the patterns of unemployment in central America and its affect on the current government, for tomorrow," she added hopefully, as if this might spark a scintillating conversation.

Emily sighed resignedly. This was going to be a long evening.

-----------------------

Lorelai dumped her keys on the table by the phone as she passed. She pressed her own preoccupations to the back of her mind momentarily, there were less scary things to be dealing with, like Rory's problems.

"So, about this J-thing, I want that deal explained." Shrugging her coat off as she walked, Lorelai hung it on the back of a kitchen chair and pulled a pack of pop-tarts from a cupboard. It was far more appealing than the slightly questionable, slimy looking fish they'd eaten (or in Lorelai's case, pretended to eat) earlier that evening.

Rory set to work on the coffee part of the equation. They had a highly polished routine worked out which always had them both supplied with coffee and food in less than five minutes. "You call him J-thing, now?"

"No, but it sounded cooler in my head. Spill, spill." She wriggled her fingers towards herself, as if the story could be encouraged that way.

"Right, well… he's here." Rory dumped a measure full of coffee into the pot and began to fill it with water.

Lorelai dropped the pop-tarts into the toaster, then stopped suddenly and turned at Rory's words. "Here, here?"

Rory frowned pulling two large mugs from a cupboard and turning back to her mother. "You have this weird habit of repeating words right now."

"Really, really?" She was just teasing now, they both knew it.

"Oh, stop it."

She then turned away to the toaster, fiddling with the settings and pressing the necessary levers. "Seriously, Jess is where?"

"Last I saw him, outside our apartment." Rory checked the coffee, putting it back in frustration when it turned out it obviously wasn't done. "He's been hanging around a lot this last week, though."

She gasped in pseudo-shock. "It's J to the R stalker."

"That doesn't even make sense, and he's not stalking." Rory pulled the jug out again to inspect it and apparently decided it was done, or even if it wasn't, that she didn't really care.

Lorelai looked amused. "When it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck…"

"It's a pigeon?" Rory interjected, mentally rolling her eyes at the ridiculousness of this entire conversation. She started to pour the coffee, the conversation didn't even falter. Oh, the joys of femininity and the ability to multitask.

"You didn't feed it breadcrumbs did you?" Lorelai deadpanned. "It's never going to leave now." She peered into the toaster, mentally urging it to get on and pop already. She suddenly broke into a grin. "Ooh, is he coming to the egg rolling? I bet Kirk has a chicken costume lying around going spare."

Rory pulled a face sliding the mugs of coffee onto the table. "Okay, can we stop referring to my ex-boyfriend as birds? It's creepy."

"Well, if it leaves a baby on your doorstep, don't say I didn't warn you." She shrugged plucking the food from the toaster onto the waiting napkins. "Strange men loitering around, it's just what comes to mind."

She wasn't really sure she wanted to know just how strange men could be related to birds and babies, so she chose to disregard the thought. Quickly attempting to divert the conversation Rory tried to ignore the unasked question of 'Why?' she was sure were about to come. "Speaking of… where's Luke?" She didn't really feel like talking about Jess's motivations when there were many far easier and more comforting conversational topics.

"Are you calling my fiancé a strange man?" Lorelai raised an eyebrow, breaking her pop-tart in half as she started to eat it.

All she got from Rory was a shrug and quirked grin in response. Her smile broadened as she began with, "well if it walks li—"

Lorelai interrupted her quickly. "Not a duck, I swear, and uh, I assume he's back at his apartment." She checked the clock on the wall. Yep, he's probably in bed and fast asleep knowing him. Luke was definitely of the 'early to bed, early to rise' school of thought.

"He still hasn't moved in? I thought that was the point of extending the bedroom, re-doing the place." She waved a hand to illustrate her point the popped some food into her mouth. The awkwardness between the two since the postponement was getting ridiculous. She had a plan to just keep prodding, in the hope they'd both get over themselves and sort it out.

"Yeah, well. We're creeping up on that really, really slowly." Lorelai's eyebrows knitted together in reflection. She didn't really like the direction her thoughts were going, so she took a sip of her coffee and decided not to go into any more detail. The conversation wasn't exactly instilling calm in her mind. If anything it was doing exactly the opposite.

"Apparently." Rory looked pensive as she watched the emotions playing over her mother's face. "You two have really got to get that sorted before the wedding." She unwittingly mimicked Lorelai's motions, breaking little pieces off her pop-tart to eat.

Pulling herself out of her thoughts Lorelai quickly responded. "Hey, hey. If you're going to poke holes in my relationship, I think calling Jess bird-boy is totally within my rights." She was quickly back to mocking amusement. This compartmentalisation thing was getting easier and easier by the day.

Rory finished the last of her pop-tart and stood to leave with her coffee. "No way." She walked straight out of the kitchen towards the rest of the house. Her departure was almost certainly the best way to ensure her point was made.

"Seriously, I won't say it to his face or anything." Lorelai called over her shoulder with a smirk. Not call him bird-boy? Ha. Of course she would.

--------------------

A/N: I think in this case a Stalk(-er) can be classified a bird. (stork-stalk ;) Oh man, you should run from my bad bird puns while you still can.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I actually dislocated my finger writing this chapter. I wish I was kidding. Writing fanfic sent me to hospital, and now two of my fingers are taped together. I'm such a dork. :)

This will probably be the last update for a while (hence the fact it's bumper-sized), at least until my Big. Fat. Exams. are out the way. Getting into University beats writing this.

This one is for **Scazydramaqueen282**, for guessing it first. ;)

Part IV:

When Lorelai left the house next morning, she was almost blinded by the sun reflected in her car windows. When on earth did it get so damn bright?

She checked her phone, which happily told her she had ten minutes to get her ass to the Dragonfly before the guy looking for their infestation arrived and she was officially late. Leaving it to Michel was definitely a bad idea. He wasn't fond of workmen or anyone in manual labour, really. It was better not to leave this one to chance.

"Mornin', Sugar!" Babette's husky timbre cut through her thoughts like a knife. "Ain't it just gorgeous out here?"

She was lounging on a deckchair in the morning sun in the front garden as if it were a beach in the Bahamas. It wasn't as if it were that warm, the sun had barely burned away the morning dew. Lorelai took in the whole picture, a little surprised. Babette in fluorescent pink shorts wasn't a sight she was used to this early in the morning.

"The hills are alive," Lorelai responded, shading her eyes with her hand to get a better look. Morey was standing on a second chair, busily hanging brightly coloured eggs on already heavily laden branches. For once his sunglasses were actually coming in useful, rather than just being a fashion accessory.

Yup, it was definitely Easter alright. So far the most she and Rory had done in celebration was a bout of egg decoration last night, and they had put some blossom covered branches from a tree in the town centre into a vase on the kitchen table.

The organisation at the inn was fortunately a little further ahead, and she had the egg hunt for the youngsters all planned out for tomorrow. Sadly she still had yet to persuade Michel to wear Easter bunny ears. She intended to continue work on that one later, possibly just to see how many different colours of purple she could make his face go.

"Spring is a-springin'. I love this time of year, all that new life bustin' out all over. Easter is like, that time. Andrew said a whole load of his chicks are popping out at the moment, I'm heading over later to see 'em." She seemed to have entirely missed Lorelai's discomfort over the whole discussion. It was hitting just a little too close to home.

"We're just getting everything set up," Babette waved a hand at Morey, still standing on the other chair, now apparently waiting for his next instructions.

"This is where your supermodel height must be so handy. Morey, move that red one a little to the left will ya!" Morey obediently searched and relocated the egg in question. "I just can't quite reach, not that I object to this job mind you."

"Looks like a good deal to me," Lorelai pulled open her car door nodding in Babette's direction, and dumping her bag into the passenger seat. Being sociable just wasn't working for her the last couple of days.

"Tell me about it, see ya later toots." Babette went straight back to her directing with barely a pause. "That thin branch next to the one with the orange is lookin' a bit bare sweets, maybe a blue one?"

Lorelai's head was doing that same whizzing round in circles thing it had been doing last night, and it wasn't a feeling she liked very much. It just ended up making her feel oddly disorientated.

Denial's not just a river in Egypt, wasn't that the phrase.

III

Lorelai marched into the kitchen at the inn when she arrived, the exterminator completely forgotten. Grabbing a mystified Sookie by the elbow, she dragged her out the back door of the kitchen. Their actions followed in amazed fascination by the five or so confused kitchen staff.

"Hey," Sookie protested as she was pulled bodily out the door. "My hot cross buns will be cinders," she started, pointing backwards as they moved.

Lorelai didn't even wait until they were outside to start talking. She'd had the whole drive there to come up with something good to say, and that still didn't seem to have helped her coherency. "I mean it could be nothing, but first my mother with the glowing, then Babette with her spring is springing new life, growing things and eggs a popping all over the place," she paused to take a breath, letting go of Sookie's arm and pacing between the table and the porch rail, "and my mother never says that sort of thing."

"I thought Babette said that?" Sookie queried, completely unnoticed by Lorelai who was still rambling. She hadn't seen Lorelai this awkward in a very long time.

"The world is telling me something. In fact, it's downright screaming it in my ear." She jabbed at the side of her head with a finger in frustration. The whole situation had done nothing but give her a headache so far.

"Uh," Sookie nodded, not really sure what she should be saying at this point, "okay?"

Today was really not going her way, and she had to share at some point, now seemed as good time as any. Lorelai did a quick scan for anyone hanging around before announcing, "I'm late," to an utterly bewildered Sookie.

Sookie waved a hand at her dismissively, "pfft. Of course you aren't, stop worrying."

"No, I'm late," She kept her voice lowered, folded her arms across her body and leaned back against the banister behind her.

"No, honey, it's Saturday, and eight fifty-five. We don't open for breakfast for a good five minutes." Sookie grinned reassuringly and made as if to go back into the kitchen. Lorelai could be a little neurotic at times, she was used to it by now.

She unfolded her arms, biting her lip. "Okay, Sookie, you really aren't getting this. I'm not late, I'm _late_. Over two weeks late."

It took a good three seconds for the words to make it through her brain and coalesce into something that made sense. "Oh, oh!" She gasped and let out an overexcited squeal launching herself at Lorelai and almost squeezing the breath out of her friend.

"Sookie, Honey. I'd like to escape with all my ribs in tact thanks," Lorelai wheezed out.

"Oh, right, sorry." Sookie released her apologetically. Once she'd let go Lorelai managed to take a step away to get her breath back. "I'm so happy for you! How long have you known? This is so exciting. Did you tell Luke? What did he say?"

Lorelai sighed rubbing the bridge of her nose distractedly with her fingers. Sookie's jaw dropped, "it is Luke's, right?"

Lorelai took her hand away from her face and stared, rather offended. "Why is it every time I get pregnant, or even think there is the slightest chance I might be pregnant, people ask me if it's my partner's? Do I have Hobag stamped on my forehead or something?" she waved wildly at herself.

"No. No, honey," Sookie looked alarmed. "It's just you don't seem happy, this is normally a happy thing."

"I will be happy, once I stop panicking. Then my brain will slow down enough to be happy." She resumed her pacing, "It might not be anything, but if it is, this is big, very, very big, and I am not… good with big."

"You two want this though, right?" Sookie put the tea towel she had been holding down on a bench.

"I know, I know, it's stupid. We've talked about having kids. We've discussed the whole idea before, with a positive outcome I should add." She paced back and forth across the veranda tensely.

"Then… this is good?" Sookie questioned, tipping her head.

Lorelai pulled a face, "but, that was before--" she waved her arms in apparent explanation, "before." It was a good thing Sookie was fluent in her frantic sign language.

"Ah, April?" comprehension dawned. Luke's daughter had become something of a sore point as far as Lorelai was concerned. It wasn't surprising, really. He'd hidden her presence from her for so long, and now with his compartmentalisation. Lorelai did the separate worlds thing with her parents, but when Luke did it to her with April it was completely different. They were close, and the instant separation hurt her.

Lorelai nodded once, and resumed her pacing. "I have no idea what her impact is on the whole situation. It's not like I've even met the girl for more than a couple of seconds, and I haven't even thought to bring it up with Luke since. I didn't think I'd need to. Not yet anyway."

Shaking her head Sookie, waved her back into the kitchen, and went to dig her buns out of the oven. "I don't think that's going to make him any less receptive to this kind of news. It doesn't change how he feels about you one iota."

Lorelai followed her, eyeing one of the kitchen staff carefully. He made a quick exit, deciding that remaining was probably not a good choice. She didn't appear to hear Sookie's encouragement, or if she had she didn't show it. "Also, I have the perfect wedding dress that is really not going to be perfect soon, as it might not fit in a couple of months." She ran her hands over her abdomen experimentally, as if trying to picture it.

"I did calculations, this means what I think it means... I'm six weeks pregnant already. Six." Lorelai was looking freaked again.

"Yeah," Sookie nodded a quiet smile on her face. Just because Lorelai was still panicking, didn't mean she couldn't be happy for her already. She had a funny feeling the whole thing would work out. They'd got this far after all. She picked up a knife and started to slice a carrot. It was a good job she could multitask. Friend counselling and cooking went together surprisingly easily.

Lorelai took a deep breath. "December. Test." Pausing she added, "Talk to Luke."

Sookie nodded again, "not necessarily in that order, and preferably, before you completely lose that ability to speak in full sentences that you love so much."

She started to make her way back to the front desk. "I can't," Lorelai spun back to Sookie.

"What?" Sookie stopped dicing and jerked her head back up to look at her friend. "Why not?"

Lorelai frowned, "because in this town, I take a test and the news is going to get to Luke before I do. That would be bad." Her mind had already been over the whole situation, and she was surprised the thought hadn't come to mind before, it was one of the first things she had thought of the last time.

Much as she loved living in Stars Hollow, she really didn't want the entire town finding out yet, especially not before she'd hashed the whole thing out with Luke. She rubbed her fingers together, and tried to think of a worse scenario than that. He was a pretty private person, and would almost certainly not be happy about finding out that she was pregnant through the town gossips rather than her.

"I managed. Twice," Sookie pointed out. "Although, having said that, I have you and Norman Mailer so..." She shrugged. "If you're that bothered go to Woodbridge, or Hartford even."

There was a long pause, and when it became obvious Lorelai wasn't going to respond, Sookie continued. "Well, what are you standing there staring at me for? Go." She twirled a hand in the direction of the door, and waited for her instructions to be followed.

III

Lorelai carefully checked the road for traffic, gripping a football sized parcel tightly to her stomach. Rory was swinging her own, far less conspicuous plastic bag by her side.

She hadn't entirely understood her mom's sudden desire to coat the egg in several layers of tissue paper, tape and cotton wool, but considering her mood the last day or so she just left her to it. If Lorelai wanted to be eccentric and overprotective about inanimate objects who was she to stop her?

Rory snorted in amusement as she watched her rub the tape more firmly onto the ball-shaped object. "I can't believe you spent half an hour wrapping that thing up. You realise that it's going to take you a good fifteen minutes to get it back out again?" She glanced back at Lorelai, who was now tucking some tissue paper closer around the package in her arms. "Possibly longer if you don't have a pair of scissors."

"It's worth it. This baby," she said, patting the package, "is my most precious possession right now. It's going to win me Best Dressed Egg, and if it doesn't Taylor better find himself a bodyguard, sharpish."

Rory shook her head wearily. "You are way too competitive."

"It's a competition, what good is it if you're not competitive?" Using one arm to hold the parcel to her stomach she started fishing in her purse for something

"What are you doing?"

She continued to poke around in her bag, "looking for my phone."

"You want me to hold the Holy Grail there?" Rory reached out to take the egg-package, only to have Lorelai move it very quickly out of reach.

"No way, I entrust Alfie to no one." Lorelai patted it protectively tucking it under the opposite arm.

"You're a special kind of weird," Rory stated. She backed off again, leaving her mom to deal with it on her own.

"I know." She pulled a face, but also seemed almost proud. "Aha, got it." She waved the offending item at Rory before dropping it back into her bag.

"Was there a point to that exercise?"

"Of course," Lorelai said. "Sookie said she'd call once she was done with lunch at The Dragonfly. Wanted to make sure I wasn't going to need psychic powers to find out what time she'd be here."

"Could you have waited the two minutes to Luke's?"

"That would mean I'd be twenty feet further from home." Lorelai seemed scandalised at the very idea.

"It's a wonder I turned out as normal I did," Rory shook her head in good humoured despair.

"You keep telling yourself that," Lorelai muttered, cradling her egg between her hands.

The bell over the door jangled, announcing their entrance. Lane wandered over, a steaming jug of coffee in her hand, she looked pretty cheerful. "Afternoon, you want coffee?"

"Ah, you have to ask?" Lorelai said in mock amazement.

Lane grinned, filling two large mugs. "It's always a good idea to check, just in case you've been brainwashed overnight."

"Tip number one for working out when mind altering aliens have visited the Gilmore household."

Once both cups were filled to the brim she motioned at the package on the table. "You transition into making brightly coloured parcel bombs?"

"That is Mom's egg." Rory explained, smiling as if to say 'oh yeah, seriously'.

"Wow, did it come out of an ostrich, or do you _really_ like scotch tape."

"She named it Alfie." Rory nodded, trying to hide her smirk, "apparently Alfie is an egghead name. I wouldn't know."

"Alfie is a great name, and it's just well protected, that's all." Lorelai said in defence.

"She used up an entire pack of cotton balls on that," Rory supplied.

Lane's eyes widened, but she decided not to comment. "Okay, anything else?"

"It was not a whole pack, and can we get a couple of donuts and two burgers?"

"Coming right up," Lane responded spinning on her heels and heading back to the counter.

Lorelai leaned back in her seat surreptitiously, trying to get a look into the storeroom without it being too obvious what she was doing. She wasn't really very good at subtle.

"I don't think he's here." Rory informed her, leaning into the table.

"Huh?" Lorelai hurriedly turned back to her table companion. Her mind had been entirely elsewhere, and Rory knew it.

She smirked, "Luke. I don't think he's here."

Frowning, Lorelai took one last lingering look around the diner and gave up. She didn't say anything, and drank some of her coffee instead. She had a momentary thought that she probably shouldn't be drinking it, but it was fleeting. It was coffee, and she was Lorelai, one simply did not go without the other.

Taking in her distraction, Rory tried to drag her back into conversation. "You have a tactic in mind for winning this afternoon?"

"Yup," Lorelai nodded, "I'm just gonna roll it."

"I don't think anyone else is going to have that idea," Rory deadpanned. Squeezing conversation out of her, was like blood out of a stone, and so suddenly too. She'd been rambling like crazy when they'd left the house. Yet the moment they'd sat down she'd clammed up for no apparent reason.

Lorelai didn't appear to notice her sarcasm, and nodded again, not really paying any attention.

Lane returned with the donuts a couple of moments later. Lorelai looked up from the table as the plate was pushed under her nose. "Hey Lane, where's Luke?" she asked, waving a finger in the direction of the counter as she spoke.

"Errand, I think." She shrugged, "I'd have thought you were more likely to know what he does when he's not here than I am."

She sighed, and tried to look cheerful. "Yeah, well."

Lane tried to look reassuring, "he should be back pretty soon."

When the bell jingled she turned quickly to see if he was back and instead watched a heavily pregnant blonde and a man she assumed must be her husband walk in. Lorelai decided enough was enough. It was obvious that today was just out to get her, and she wasn't having any of it.

"Yeah, no. I'm… I'm going to go. I'll uh, see you at the big event." She grabbed her parcel and the donut, and patted Rory's shoulder as she left.

Rory watched her go, a little bothered by her sudden exit. She really wasn't herself at the moment.

"Is she okay?" Lane asked, watching the back of Lorelai's head as she retreated down the street.

"Uh, I think she will be. She's having one of those days, or weeks. It'll sort itself out. In the meantime, mood swings, oh boy."

Lane looked apologetic, "I think I touched a nerve."

Rory shook her head, "it's not just you."

"Oh, by the way, your outfit is on order for the wedding. It's a traditional horror of a bridesmaid dress. I hope you're prepared."

"I thought you said you'd work on that," Rory did not look happy at the idea of a Mrs Kim selected wedding outfit. The last possibility they'd looked at was horrendous, had felt like someone had laced her into a straight jacket.

"Yeah, I tried and failed. It's about as unattractive as they come."

Rory shrugged, "well, the thought was there, and it's difficult to argue with Mrs Kim. You work out where it's happening yet?"

"No, but every pastor within a ten mile radius is now scared of taking us on."

"Uh-oh," Rory frowned, it seemed like wedding preparations were going about as well as could be expected under the circumstances.

Lane nodded in confirmation at the look on Rory's face. "My mother is in her element," Lane explained. "Rating different churches and pastors is a fun pastime for her. I think she ranks them in her sleep." She rolled her eyes, "any normal person just counts sheep."

"Did she actually leave you any organisation to do?"

"I have to pick a 'suitable' dress for myself, and that's it. Although actually, that is surprisingly not as easy as you'd imagine. I'll be going to my wedding looking like a nun if she has her way."

Rory pulled a face. "Oh, that's not flattering."

"Apparently, a wimple covers all manner of things. Like my hair, and bare neck, and any other body parts that my grandmother would consider provocative and therefore, bad."

"Grandma Kim is coming to your wedding?" Rory looked amazed. She'd been hearing stories of Lane's grandmother for years, but she'd never turned up in Stars Hollow. That could make for an interesting day.

"Oh yes. The entire Kim clan is invading. The streets will be unsafe for smokers, loud people, anyone with pierced ears, wearing a knee length skirt, or eating chocolate, for at least three days."

"Chocolate?" she queried, not liking the idea of one of her food staples under scrutiny by the Kims'.

"—is of Satan," Lane finished, her tone very matter of fact. "They _really_ frown on extravagance."

"Okay, that is now officially off my gift list."

Lane nodded once, "that's probably wise. Okay, enough talk of my family. Your life is probably infinitely more exciting. Your week's high point was?"

"Jess turned up at Yale." Rory supplied, taking a sip of her coffee in an attempt to disguise her response.

"Again?" Lane's jaw dropped and Rory suppressed her smirk at the comedic value of her expression.

She nodded, "I'm not quite sure how I feel about that yet." It was the truth, she'd seen him in Philadelphia, but that had been so brief and she was still processing the whole thing. It had been a week since that, and she was still processing. So what if she liked to take her time over this kind of thing.

"Well, you're not with Logan… right?" Lane sat down on the chair that Lorelai had vacated, this was going to be one of those important conversations, one that you can't have standing up.

"Right," Rory paused considering what Lane was getting at. "No."

"No, what?" She shrugged, with that blameless look that is so very in at the moment.

"No, to what you're suggesting." Rory pointed a finger accusingly at her friend, and Lane raised her hands in another show of innocence.

"I'm not suggesting anything, just subtly reminding you of your situation." Lane knew exactly what she was hinting, but she was hardly about to reveal that to Rory right now.

"I am not getting back with Jess." She nodded, in a show of finality and looked back down at her coffee. She spoke with far more conviction than she felt.

"Never said you were." There was a long pause while Rory said nothing, and Lane waited for her to elaborate. "So… why did he come?" She kept prodding. Rory had to let something slip eventually.

She took a deep breath. "Don't know, don't care."

"You care." Lane stated, the look on Rory's face told her she was almost certainly right. "You're going to have to talk to him eventually, and the sooner you do, the better you'll feel about the whole thing."

Rory stayed silent, there was something annoying niggling in her head, that told her Lane was probably right. She didn't really like that idea. It meant she was going to have to bite the bullet and talk to him. Putting her feelings into coherent sentences really wasn't her strong point.

Rory sighed, "You're right. I hate that you're right, but you are."

"It's a newfound talent," Lane deadpanned.

Rory grinned hopefully, "—you feel like sharing it with me?" It was a talent she really could do with right about now, and was annoyingly absent from her repertoire.

She smirked back, "and lose my custom? No way."

The diner was almost empty by the time Luke returned. He looked a little surprised at the complete lack of people. The only occupants were Lane and Rory, still chatting at a table by the door, and Caesar in the kitchen.

"Egg rolling lull," Lane said, by way of explanation. The diner would normally be packed at this time of day. It was right at the end of the lunchtime rush.

"Oh, right." Luke seemed utterly bewildered by the idea that people would voluntarily waste their time decorating eggs, only to roll them down a hill and probably break most of them anyway. It seemed completely pointless to him. Then again, in Stars Hollow pointless and somewhat inane, was often the name of the game.

"Mom went looking for you," Rory added. "Did you see her?"

"Uh, no… She wasn't still on that egg rolling kick was she?" He was obviously still thinking about the man-egg discussion of the night before, and the very real possibility of getting dragged into another crazy town event.

Rory chuckled knowledgably at the look on his face, "I think you're safe on that count."

"Well, if you see her again, tell her I'm here all afternoon." He nodded at Lane, "go roll eggs. Just because I don't want to waste my time pushing breakfast food down a hill doesn't mean you can't."

"You sure?"

He nodded, and waved a hand dismissively at her thanks. Internally he was labelling them all completely insane, even if he didn't say it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title:** Eggs is Eggs

**Author:** Binx349

**Fandom:** Gilmore Girls

**Pairing(s): **Luke/Lorelai, Rory/Jess

**Rating:** PG

**Summary: **_"Have you ever dreamt about rolling Kirk down a hill? Because that is now a reality for me. It's great for stress relief."_

**A/N: **Eeep.I am a terrible person, and have been working on other things. offers update in penance

There will be one more chapter to story, and then I can start working with the next part of this little series. I have vague plans. Oh yes. :)

Part V:

It was lucky that the sun was shining as brightly as it was, because for once in his highly organised life Taylor didn't have a contingency plan. If it rained, they were going to be in serious trouble. The road had been cordoned off since the night before, cars had been towed, a large sign proclaiming the day's events was in the process of being hauled up a tree by Kirk, while Taylor kept a good distance watching the proceedings and yelling orders.

"That needs to be straight Kirk! Sloppiness reflects badly on us as a town." He was in his element. All Taylor really needed in life was a loudspeaker, cardigans in various hues, and a hapless side-kick like Kirk to do his bidding.

He bustled over to Bootsy and Joe, who were unsuccessfully trying to put up trestle tables along the side of the street. Both men were beneath the table, poking around at the underside.

"Are you sure this is the right way up?" a voice grouched from a position somewhere near the ground.

A second voice piped up, sounding more than a little confused, "No..."

"Turn that the other way… no, the other, 'other way'."

"There's another other way?"

"According the gospel of me? Yes."

"Are you mocking me again?"

"No."

"You are."

"Where would you get that idea?" Bootsy twisted something, inciting a squawk of pain from Joe.

"Don't _do_ that."

"Just, give it here. _Idiot_."

Taylor cleared his throat loudly, to gain attention. Someone under the trestle jerked up so fast that there was a clank and a groan as his head hit the underside of the table. "Now boys, lets keep this civil. Young, impressionable minds and ears are present."

Ignoring the silence from the two he continued walking, making his way across the road over to Miss Patty who was busy corralling a group of very over-excitable Easter bunnies at the side of the road.

The leotards, tights and fluffy tails made one think of playboy bunnies. Miss Patty didn't seem to have any kind of problem with dressing twelve six-year olds in such attire however.

"Now girls, does everyone have their ears? Yes?" Patty waved her cigarette around and examined her dancers critically. "Mandy, where's your tail sweetie?"

"Patty, can we move them behind the track tape please?"

"You cannot rush ladies' preparations on a day like this Taylor. Don't you know anything?"

Taylor conveniently ignored her. Something else had stolen his attention away, at least for the moment anyway.

"Please, don't loiter near the finish line. It's going to make it impossible to differentiate positions!" Taylor turned to march towards another group of unsuspecting townsfolk waving frantically.

"The man is definitely on a mission today," Miss Patty murmured dismissively before making tracks to follow him. "Be right back ladies."

The jingling of the bells echoed through the empty diner. Since Luke had dismissed Lane the place had been like a ghost town. He quite liked it really, gave him time to do more menial tasks like paperwork and scraping grime off the grill.

Luke's head jerked up from his supply ledger at the interruption, he'd been expecting Lorelai trying to bring him round to the joys of Stars Hollow's latest group insanity. Instead he was met by the sight of Jess, complete with leather jacket and a rather ratty-looking backpack loitering in the doorway.

Jess simply nodded in greeting. Somehow words were never really needed when it came to Jess Mariano. "Someone isn't joining the fun I see," he jerked a thumb over his shoulder.

"Long time no see," Luke responded ironically. The week that had gone by since their last meeting could hardly be considered long, not even close.

"Small town attractions, what can I say?"

"Huh," Luke frowned. "Didn't think you even liked this place."

Jess shrugged, but his silence spoke volumes. He'd never liked this place, he barely tolerated it, and the only reason he ever even did that… "It has its high points," He finally added.

In his head Luke easily put two and two together. "She's probably out rolling," he supplied.

"Rolling?" Jess frowned incredulously. He probably had images of Rory actually _rolling_, and while that was quite an entertaining prospect, it didn't seem much like her. It involved a much larger amount of physical exertion than he was used to from either of the Gilmores.

Luke pointed at the large sign on the opposite side of the street. "Rolling."

"Right," Jess nodded. "I'll see you later then."

Luke smirked down at his ledger; there was something to be said for Jess' one-track-mind. He heard the bells jingle once more when Jess left, and looked up to see him swagger towards the gazebo skimming his gaze across the crowd, looking for one person in particular.

Lorelai doled out a courtesy greeting as she passed the refreshment stand. Mrs Kim was authoritatively watching her latest charge mix something in a large plastic tub and waving her hand in illustration. Apparently colourless lumpy gloop should only be stirred just so.

"Good morning Lorelai," Mrs Kim looked up from her tasks and gave a brief nod of greeting. "You look pasty. This will help."

Lorelai immediately began evasive manoeuvres. "I really don't--"

"Wholemeal gluten free rolls with tofu and bean. Straight from Tulsa, new supplier. Very quick." Mrs Kim thrust a roll into her hand, not waiting for a positive response. Lorelai knew she just shouldn't have got up this morning.

The questionable foodstuff was wrapped in a napkin adorned with what Lorelai assumed to be a biblical quote and a couple of artfully placed flowers. "Pretty," she commented.

"It is the Lords words. They are more than pretty, they are sacrosanct." Lorelai nodded, feeling that just agreeing was probably the best course of action.

"What is this?" Lorelai mumbled through a mouthful of sandwich, while examining the second half still in her hand in mild disgust.

"Mung bean. Must be soaked in vinegar 24 hour before cooked."

Lorelai swallowed her mouthful, with a grimace. "Isn't Mung a Chinese dynasty?"

"Ming."

"Oh."

Mrs Kim turned back to her bumper-size vat of goop with a cursory, "Eat up."

"Uh, huh..." Lorelai nodded, trying to soothe her, now churning, stomach. Then she walked away as fast as possible. Being forced to eat one of these was on a par with chowing down on pondweed - slimy and distinctly unpleasant. There was a reason she'd spent well over a decade feeding both Lane and Rory.

As soon as she was out of sight Lorelai made sure to dump the sandwich in the nearest trash can with a surreptitious glance around, just to make sure that she hadn't been witnessed. If that news got back to Mrs Kim, she'd never hear the end of it.

Lorelai brushed the crumbs off her hands, and scanned the crowds to see if she could find Rory and Lane. She caught sight of some unusual movement in the corner of her eye, and jerked her head round to get a better view.

A strange elliptical shape was moving jerkily along one of the side-streets. It took a couple more seconds of closer examination to realise that it was an Easter egg costume rolling along the street. Complete with Kirk inside. He was being followed, and occasionally pushed by the Banyan boys.

Lorelai's conscience told her she should probably go and help him out. God knows she'd had her own issues with the Banyan twins. Most memorably when they'd camped out in the gazebo and decided that it would be fun to throw mud balloons at innocent passers by. There wasn't enough coffee in the world to make up for the ruination of her favourite white shirt. She sighed in memory and headed over to them.

Rory flicked the page of her book over so deeply immersed in the world it created that she didn't even notice when Jess dropped onto the bench beside her, glancing over her shoulder at her reading material.

"Proust is way overrated."

She was so surprised at the proximity of the voice that she very nearly dropped the tome in her hands.

Rory automatically responded with, "He's better than Bukowski," then closed the book running her fingers along the spine. She looked to her left momentarily before returning her gaze to her book. Nope, she wasn't letting herself get drawn in by him again.

"Your reading habits have not changed a bit." Jess cocked his head to one side, watching her movements carefully.

"I'm very predictable," she muttered shifting uncomfortably.

There was a long silence, before Jess decided enough was enough. "So, what brings you out here? I thought you and Lorelai would be busy preparing for total domination."

"Lane went to get Zach. I'm waiting for them." Rory stumbled through her words as fast as possible, fingers clenching around the cover of the book until Jess removed it from her hands and placed it on the bench beside her. "Mom is probably plotting total domination though."

"You're uncomfortable."

Rory scoffed, "No."

"Rory, you won't look at me."

Tearing her eyes up from the ground she finally met his gaze. Yep, there was a reason she didn't look him in the eye.

She paused taking a deep breath, and staring at him. "See, looking at you. I can look at…"

Rory's words were cut off when Jess' warm fingers cupped her chin, and he dipped his mouth to meet hers.

She froze for a moment still not quite comprehending what was happening, and then arched towards him automatically deepening the kiss in moments. The whole situation felt so wrong and yet so ridiculously perfect all at the same time.

He was just as she remembered him, he could still make her skin tingle and send a blush swimming across her face. He could make her feel alive.

His hands had travelled from her face down her arms, and now his hands clasped hers in her lap… she hadn't even noticed. His thumb was brushing back and forth across the back of her hand in a soft arch.

And when did her fingers end up threaded into the hair at the back of his neck? It seemed so sudden. Her head was having a hard time keeping up with her actions. She hadn't felt so out of her depth in a very long time.

Rory broke off taking a deep shuddering breath, stood from the bench and took several quick steps backwards, out of range of his hold over her. It was like a magnetic field to a paperclip. It was undeniable attraction, pure and simple.

"Rebound," she burbled. Her mouth, that had been pressed to his mere moments before had difficulty even forming the words. She'd said essentially the same to him only a week before. Why had it been so much easier before?

It seemed to her that the longer she was in his presence, the more it affected her. The harder it was to walk away.

"I can't do this." She realised she probably should have stayed, tried to explain, to understand. Instead she turned and ran in the opposite direction.

"Rory!" Jess called after her. It was amazing. For a bright girl, she did have a little trouble getting her words out sometimes. Also, an amazing talent for just taking off like that. For someone who hated exercise, she sure knew how to run when the occasion called for it.

It wasn't the first time she'd run from him, and he was fairly sure it wouldn't be the last. It seemed to be Rory's coping mechanism, and strangely enough he didn't really have a problem with it. If it helped her sort things out in her head, so be it. Hopefully it would all turn out in his favour.

Jess picked up her book from the bench turning it over to read the blurb and skimming his fingers over the spine in the same way that Rory had done just minutes before. He smiled softly. She'd definitely want it back.


End file.
